Cedar

Everett and I have lost 14 babies over the last ten years. We never got to know any of their genders and never got to meet any of them either. We had planned, once upon a time, to call a baby girl Cedar, but now imagine her to be a strong, tall, beautiful, majestic and wise girl, always watching over all of her other siblings. The date of loss is the day we lost our 14th and the day we decided we could not try again. We hope one day that surrogacy and/or adoption will fill our hearts and ease the emptiness of being parents with no child.

I love each and every one of you. I did before you were conceived, every second that I carried you and every moment after. I miss you more than I can bear.

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